While growing up with a father can teach you a lot of great life lesson, growing up without one will motivate you to be better than the father you never had.    Now you may say, how would you know what that is if you didn’t have father figure around to base it on.  Well that is where my story begins.

I like many Canadians, grew up without knowing who their father.  I didn’t want to say I don’t have a father because that would be false, for obvious reasons.  It’s just that I don’t 100% know who my father is.  What makes my story unique is because I was told it was one person but it turns out that that person lead me on a wild goose chase to find court documents which obviously would clear him of being my father or why else would he of told me to go there. Needless to say, I never seen those documents.

Back to my point, all my life I grew up wishing I had a father, I wanted to do the things that dads would do with their son’s.  Take them fishing, show them how to fix cars and burp.  Well that is what I thought dads taught their kids how to do because not having one, I was forced to base it on what I saw on TV.  We all know how real that method is.

Being an adult now, I realize that there was more to it.  It was the ability to love, the knowledge of character judgement, knowing when to say no and when to accept a little more.  It’s the soft skills that dads being to their kids which seem to stick with them.

My entire life I idealized those who had fathers, most of which would complain like, “Oh I can’t believe dad is making me do this or that”.  Not to sound odd, but I deeply wished I had something to complain about, because that would mean I’d have a father.

During the last couple of year I was getting that urge to have a little one of my own running around.  If you’ve not had that feeling yet you don’t know, but for those of you who have, it’s something magical.  You start to notice people with kids and infants and find yourself spending just a little bit more time watching them and smiling.  It’s a warming experience.

I’ve said it many times that “I want to be the dad I never had”.  Not better than my dad, because then it sounds like a competition.  To be the dad I never had, I would be the following.

I would be the dad who spend time with me doing the things I enjoy.

I would be the dad who listened to my problems and concerns without judgement and then provided honest and constructive suggestions in return.

I would be the dad who came home from work a bit early to take me to my sporting event and then stayed to watch whole came and want out for ice cream after.

I would be the dad who I give a World’s Best Dad mug to on fathers day and he uses it everyday and keeps it on his desk.

You see, the world is filled with distractions, it’s inundated with things that take your time here and now, but in reality life is about Living, it’s about Loving and when your final hour rolls around you can look back and say to yourself, yeah, I may have encountered a lot of shit in my life, but I ended up loving the ones I love, and being the best person I could be to them.

To my dad, who I don’t know, this post is dedicated to you.



One thought on “Fatherless

  1. Pingback: Some days make everything worth while | Why Not Fathers?

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