The purpose of this blog was so that I had a way to share my feelings about a transformation I’m undertaking. No it’s not a gender change, it’s a mind clearing, re-dedication to myself. You see, for 32 years of my life I’ve lived with a heavy burden on my mind about my childhood and the lies that my mother fed to me about certain things that people should know. Like who their father is, information about siblings, that kind of thing. I have also not had a relationship with her that I would consider motherly. I’ve never had a phone call to see how I was doing, the only time the phone would ring is if she wanted something.
It wasn’t until recently when things in my marriage started to come undone that it became apparent that these past issues have been weighing on me and making me have not feeling of self value. I would always look to help other people in need (while this is not a bad thing always, it is when you take away time from those you love and care about to be that person).
I went and saw a psychologist about this and she feels that I need to set myself free from these burdens and become a better “me”, if I’m going to have any chance at being a husband, father and overall good person I want to be.
So I consider this a journey / transformation.